Well, here we are at the tenth...I can't believe I have made it this far and I only have two more treatments!! Praise the Lord for giving me the strength to make it through this...it has been a very bumpy road at times with lots of twists and turns but I have made it!!
This chemo session was pretty normal. I saw the doctor and she was concerned because my feet have been swelling very badly and have been painful. She said for now to just keep them propped when I am sitting and to take my fluid pills. I am to call them if it gets bad again because they may need to try some Lasik (not sure if I am spelling that right or not).
They are still having a little problem with my port turning to the side but we are so close to being done and hoping it will hold out a little longer and then we can get that outta there!!
I ordered lunch (got sick and could not eat but a couple of fries and then fell asleep). I need to even stop trying to eat there....just the thoughts of it makes me wanna gag.....it's weird!!
The saddest thing happened at chemo today...I wanted to cry so bad but didn't want to add to the sadness. There was a man and his wife beside me. He was having a chemo treatment. The doctor came out to talk to him and had bad news. You see, from what I could hear this man has been dealing with cancer since last year. He had been hospitalized at one point and was now on chemo at the clinic. The doctor told him that the latest blood smear that they did on him showed Leukemia. He told him about his treatment options and said he would give him two weeks to decide what he wanted to do. The poor man just hung his head down and said, "I can't win for losing!!" It made me so sad. I could see the pure terror in his wife's eyes and I just closed my eyes and prayed for them both!! I can't imagine what he must be going through! God please be with that poor man!! I will never forget his words yesterday!!
Sorry to end on kinda a sad note but I just had to share that story. I ask you to pray for that man..I don't even know his name but I will never forget him!!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
9TH Chemo Treatment
I had gone in the day before to have an Echcardiogram to check my heart since I hadn't had one since right before chemo began. My doctor wanted to make sure that things were ok since the chemo can cause damage to the heart and lungs.
He said the results were good except for one minor issue (or at least at this point they think it is minor). There was increased blood flow to my aorta. He is not sure if the chemo is doing it or not. He said he does not think it is anything to be overly concerned about but when chemo is over, we will do some further testing.
During chemo, I had severe restless legs. I have been bothered by them for years but never had them that bad and never during chemo. I wanted to rip the needle out of me and the IV and just get out of there...but of course I could not! Sometimes you feel like such a prisoner in that chair!
Chemo was pretty ok for chemo. That night I had some mild numbness in my face, but nothing major. I am just so tired out all the time....so extremely tired. It is getting hard to keep up with things and to remember things...I forget things I just asked ten minutes ago. Hopefully, this will go away when I am done. Only three more treatments to go and then we will do the PET scan and I pray that I come back completely free and no more treatments...I am ready to get on with my life and to see what God has in store for me!!
He said the results were good except for one minor issue (or at least at this point they think it is minor). There was increased blood flow to my aorta. He is not sure if the chemo is doing it or not. He said he does not think it is anything to be overly concerned about but when chemo is over, we will do some further testing.
During chemo, I had severe restless legs. I have been bothered by them for years but never had them that bad and never during chemo. I wanted to rip the needle out of me and the IV and just get out of there...but of course I could not! Sometimes you feel like such a prisoner in that chair!
Chemo was pretty ok for chemo. That night I had some mild numbness in my face, but nothing major. I am just so tired out all the time....so extremely tired. It is getting hard to keep up with things and to remember things...I forget things I just asked ten minutes ago. Hopefully, this will go away when I am done. Only three more treatments to go and then we will do the PET scan and I pray that I come back completely free and no more treatments...I am ready to get on with my life and to see what God has in store for me!!
8th Chemo Treatment
I went in as usual and had my bloodwork drawn. It showed that I was anemic now which would explain the extreme fatique. The doctor put me on some iron pills and if I can remember to take them, they may very well help! My brain is becoming more and more mush and I am forgetting so many things lately. I am told this will stop not too long after chemo is over.
I apologize for not updating sooner. It has been so hectic lately and I am just too tired to do anything much. I need to sleep more than normal and just get out of breath and weak at the drop of a hat. But, hopefully I am almost done with this and can get on with my life-CANCER FREE!!
My bloodwork also showed that my blood sugar was highish-like 120 with fasting so they are still monitoring me. I guess the chemo just does a number on all the systems in your body!
I decided not to order lunch today because I just get so so sick!! I got so nauseated smelling everyone's lunches and just felt so sick so they had to give me a dose of Ativan and that helped me to feel better and sleep some.
Overall, things went ok. I will be so glad when I am done with this all!!! It has gone pretty quickly overall..hard to believe this all started in February!!
I appreciate all the prayers that are being lifted up for me and my family!! It has been a tremendously hard time at times but with the grace of the Lord we are making it through!!
I apologize for not updating sooner. It has been so hectic lately and I am just too tired to do anything much. I need to sleep more than normal and just get out of breath and weak at the drop of a hat. But, hopefully I am almost done with this and can get on with my life-CANCER FREE!!
My bloodwork also showed that my blood sugar was highish-like 120 with fasting so they are still monitoring me. I guess the chemo just does a number on all the systems in your body!
I decided not to order lunch today because I just get so so sick!! I got so nauseated smelling everyone's lunches and just felt so sick so they had to give me a dose of Ativan and that helped me to feel better and sleep some.
Overall, things went ok. I will be so glad when I am done with this all!!! It has gone pretty quickly overall..hard to believe this all started in February!!
I appreciate all the prayers that are being lifted up for me and my family!! It has been a tremendously hard time at times but with the grace of the Lord we are making it through!!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
7Th Chemo Treatment With Good News!
The day before chemo, I had to go for my CT scan. I was looking forward to getting the results but not looking forward to the test procedure because of the barium drink. The night before, I had to drink a bottle of barium and not eat after midnight. The drink made me gag so bad and made me have chills and I was nauseated. The next day, when I got to the hospital, I had to drink another one and that was rough but I made it through it. The test went well, they didn't give me any results but sent me home and told me my doctor would have the results the next day.
So it was chemo time again, the dreaded Wednesday!! The day that I have come to hate and to dread even days and days before it is even here! It's hard to describe how you dread it...I guess only those who have been through can really know what I am talking about, but it is not something you want to ever, ever do yet each day that goes by gets you closer to chemo day. The only consolation is knowing that each day gets you closer to being done also!!
I went in and my favorite nurse brought me back for bloodwork. She is so awesome and just has such a good personality. She always jokes with my husband and I and we look forward to seeing her every time. She always brags on me and says what a trooper I am and I smile and tell her thank you but deep down I feel so untrooper-like!
It took quite a bit for me to get a room, chemo was extra busy that day and that sometimes happens. Seems about every third time or so that it is just extra booked for some reason. The PA came in, she is such a wonderful woman and has long blonde hair down to her waist. When I first saw her, I was like: "Man, that's kinda a smack in the face to those losing their hair!" But then I found out why her hair is so long. She grows it out and when it gets too long, she donates it to Locks of Love! I just was so touched by that! She came in and sat down and asked how I was. I said my usual: "I'm fine." She said: "You're fine with pain and numbness and stomach pain??" and she smiled because she knows me by now and I try not to make a big deal out of it. I am sure there are loads of people worse than me...in fact, I have seen them there!!
I tell her how badly I want to know about my test results and she said I know you are so anxious so I am gonna give you the basics until the doctor can come in.
My results were great! She told me all the nodes and mass had come down tremendously and that I was still showing having a cyst on my ovary that we would need to keep check on and that there is a cyst on my kidney and that needs to be watched. We talked about the terrible pains in my stomach and that it could be ulcers and erosions from the chemo eating the lining of my stomach up. She prescribed for me Protonix to take twice a day to try to help heal it.
Then I waited on the doc to come in and he came in just beaming!! He said my results were so good. Most of the nodes were smaller than a centimeter now!! The mass had shrunk by half!! He said and I quote: "I was positive we would get a cure when we first began but seeing these results, I am 100% positive that we will get a cure!!" He said when I get done with chemo that we will do a PET scan to make sure every trace is gone. I will be anxious to get that test done!!
I went into the chemo room and Morgan, the therapy dog was there. She is so gentle and so sweet and just seems to calm everyone in the room! I stopped and petted her a bit and she wagged her tail and looked up at me with her big brown eyes.
Chemo started as usual with all the predrugs and the volunteer talked me into ordering lunch and I wish I hadn't! I ordered a BLT and I got so sick from it so I have made a vow not to eat anymore at chemo. It just ends up making me very sick!!
I was able to sleep through the last part of chemo and that was good. Now I am down to five more treatments! I honestly can't believe how fast it has gone!! I am so thankful though!! I am going to try to post a list of symptoms I have been dealing with in the hopes that I might can help someone else facing this in the future. More later.
So it was chemo time again, the dreaded Wednesday!! The day that I have come to hate and to dread even days and days before it is even here! It's hard to describe how you dread it...I guess only those who have been through can really know what I am talking about, but it is not something you want to ever, ever do yet each day that goes by gets you closer to chemo day. The only consolation is knowing that each day gets you closer to being done also!!
I went in and my favorite nurse brought me back for bloodwork. She is so awesome and just has such a good personality. She always jokes with my husband and I and we look forward to seeing her every time. She always brags on me and says what a trooper I am and I smile and tell her thank you but deep down I feel so untrooper-like!
It took quite a bit for me to get a room, chemo was extra busy that day and that sometimes happens. Seems about every third time or so that it is just extra booked for some reason. The PA came in, she is such a wonderful woman and has long blonde hair down to her waist. When I first saw her, I was like: "Man, that's kinda a smack in the face to those losing their hair!" But then I found out why her hair is so long. She grows it out and when it gets too long, she donates it to Locks of Love! I just was so touched by that! She came in and sat down and asked how I was. I said my usual: "I'm fine." She said: "You're fine with pain and numbness and stomach pain??" and she smiled because she knows me by now and I try not to make a big deal out of it. I am sure there are loads of people worse than me...in fact, I have seen them there!!
I tell her how badly I want to know about my test results and she said I know you are so anxious so I am gonna give you the basics until the doctor can come in.
My results were great! She told me all the nodes and mass had come down tremendously and that I was still showing having a cyst on my ovary that we would need to keep check on and that there is a cyst on my kidney and that needs to be watched. We talked about the terrible pains in my stomach and that it could be ulcers and erosions from the chemo eating the lining of my stomach up. She prescribed for me Protonix to take twice a day to try to help heal it.
Then I waited on the doc to come in and he came in just beaming!! He said my results were so good. Most of the nodes were smaller than a centimeter now!! The mass had shrunk by half!! He said and I quote: "I was positive we would get a cure when we first began but seeing these results, I am 100% positive that we will get a cure!!" He said when I get done with chemo that we will do a PET scan to make sure every trace is gone. I will be anxious to get that test done!!
I went into the chemo room and Morgan, the therapy dog was there. She is so gentle and so sweet and just seems to calm everyone in the room! I stopped and petted her a bit and she wagged her tail and looked up at me with her big brown eyes.
Chemo started as usual with all the predrugs and the volunteer talked me into ordering lunch and I wish I hadn't! I ordered a BLT and I got so sick from it so I have made a vow not to eat anymore at chemo. It just ends up making me very sick!!
I was able to sleep through the last part of chemo and that was good. Now I am down to five more treatments! I honestly can't believe how fast it has gone!! I am so thankful though!! I am going to try to post a list of symptoms I have been dealing with in the hopes that I might can help someone else facing this in the future. More later.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Chemo session # 6-We are half-way through!!!
It really has kinda gone fast..I can't believe that I am now half-way through but so glad that I am!!
This chemo treatment went ok. I saw both doctors and they told me that we are gonna do my scans on June 22nd right before I go in for the next chemo treatment. They handed me a bottle of that horrible barium drink to drink the night before and then I will have to drink one in the lab. I am not thrilled about this because it made me really sick when I did that the last time and I wasn't even on chemo so I can't imagine how it will be. But God will see me through it!!
The chemo room was so busy that every chair was full so I had to be put in the room where you have no privacy for a few minutes and then they moved me back in the chemo room but I still didn't have privacy except for a little screen they put beside me.
The volunteer came around to give me my lunch paper to fill out and I told her I would not be eating today. The thoughts of eating there makes me so sick and even typing this brings up images of the food and makes me ill!! I did get some apple juice and sipped that.
They gave me my premeds and I started to feel sleepy so I fell asleep. It was cold in the room for once instead of hot so they brought me a warmed blanket and I snuggled down and just slept. I slept through my first three chemo drugs and woke up around the time for my last drip.
I was feeling pretty nauseated but was so glad I had not eaten. My stomach felt crampy and I just felt kinda out of it like I could sleep some more but yet restless at the same time!!
Oh, I forgot to mention...when they were putting my needle in my port, it slipped and she had to move it. That did not feel good and it is still kinda sore today from that! They always try to pull blood back from the needle out of my port but it would not come this time for some reason, no matter how hard she tried. There were no leaks or anything though and the chemo drugs were going in fine so they weren't concerned.
I can tell now that each time I get chemo that it is setttling further into my system and making me feel worse and worse. I just get so weak and worn down and sick and I want to keep going and doing and try to but things just don't always go like I want and I have to rest. My husband gets on me all the time and says rest, rest..let me do this. I just am so used to keeping on going ..I need to learn to rest. I have to most of the time because my body won't let me do anything else!
I will try to do better about updating and plan on making a list of all symptoms that I have been experiencing too. I hope that this might help someone going through this someday!
This chemo treatment went ok. I saw both doctors and they told me that we are gonna do my scans on June 22nd right before I go in for the next chemo treatment. They handed me a bottle of that horrible barium drink to drink the night before and then I will have to drink one in the lab. I am not thrilled about this because it made me really sick when I did that the last time and I wasn't even on chemo so I can't imagine how it will be. But God will see me through it!!
The chemo room was so busy that every chair was full so I had to be put in the room where you have no privacy for a few minutes and then they moved me back in the chemo room but I still didn't have privacy except for a little screen they put beside me.
The volunteer came around to give me my lunch paper to fill out and I told her I would not be eating today. The thoughts of eating there makes me so sick and even typing this brings up images of the food and makes me ill!! I did get some apple juice and sipped that.
They gave me my premeds and I started to feel sleepy so I fell asleep. It was cold in the room for once instead of hot so they brought me a warmed blanket and I snuggled down and just slept. I slept through my first three chemo drugs and woke up around the time for my last drip.
I was feeling pretty nauseated but was so glad I had not eaten. My stomach felt crampy and I just felt kinda out of it like I could sleep some more but yet restless at the same time!!
Oh, I forgot to mention...when they were putting my needle in my port, it slipped and she had to move it. That did not feel good and it is still kinda sore today from that! They always try to pull blood back from the needle out of my port but it would not come this time for some reason, no matter how hard she tried. There were no leaks or anything though and the chemo drugs were going in fine so they weren't concerned.
I can tell now that each time I get chemo that it is setttling further into my system and making me feel worse and worse. I just get so weak and worn down and sick and I want to keep going and doing and try to but things just don't always go like I want and I have to rest. My husband gets on me all the time and says rest, rest..let me do this. I just am so used to keeping on going ..I need to learn to rest. I have to most of the time because my body won't let me do anything else!
I will try to do better about updating and plan on making a list of all symptoms that I have been experiencing too. I hope that this might help someone going through this someday!
Chemo # 5
I am so sorry that I am just now getting to write this! It has been a rough couple of weeks and so now I need to update on two chemo sessions.
This chemo was rough, to say the least! I went in and went through the usual talk with the doctor and we discussed that things were getting worse in the way of fatigue and weakness and sickness but we decided we are almost half-way there and will just keep plugging right along.
I went and picked out a chemo chair and they started my pre-meds. I now have Decradon, Zofran, Tylenol, Ativan, and Emend. Once these are all given, they push three of my chemo drugs and the last one is a drip that takes an hour. It usually takes about five hours for the whole process of blood work and seeing the doctor and then getting the chemo.
I was feeling nauseated but tried to order lunch again. I thought I would go safe and order some soup...this did not go well. Well, it went down good but then I started getting so nauseated. I would run to the bathroom and then just have dry heaves and could bring nothing up. I wished so badly that I could vomit because I would feel better but my stomach would just not bring anything up. This went on for two hours and was still like that when I got home. I started that night taking my new nausea med, Anzemet and with the Phenergan it seemed to help.
This is gonna be kinda of short since I now need to post about my latest chemo treatment from this Wednesday.
This chemo was rough, to say the least! I went in and went through the usual talk with the doctor and we discussed that things were getting worse in the way of fatigue and weakness and sickness but we decided we are almost half-way there and will just keep plugging right along.
I went and picked out a chemo chair and they started my pre-meds. I now have Decradon, Zofran, Tylenol, Ativan, and Emend. Once these are all given, they push three of my chemo drugs and the last one is a drip that takes an hour. It usually takes about five hours for the whole process of blood work and seeing the doctor and then getting the chemo.
I was feeling nauseated but tried to order lunch again. I thought I would go safe and order some soup...this did not go well. Well, it went down good but then I started getting so nauseated. I would run to the bathroom and then just have dry heaves and could bring nothing up. I wished so badly that I could vomit because I would feel better but my stomach would just not bring anything up. This went on for two hours and was still like that when I got home. I started that night taking my new nausea med, Anzemet and with the Phenergan it seemed to help.
This is gonna be kinda of short since I now need to post about my latest chemo treatment from this Wednesday.
Monday, May 24, 2010
4th Chemo Treatment
I woke up that morning feeling kinda sick to my stomach...totally dreading chemo! We stopped for a quick breakfast and went to the cancer center. They got me back fairly quickly for my blood work but then I had to wait on a room to be ready.
My blood pressure was up a little...I think my nerves were getting the best of me. I started feeling so sick to my stomach. I went over the usual symptoms questions with the nurse and then waited on the doctor.
When my doc came in, he was concerned about the severe pain that I had in my shoulder from the last chemo and wanted to do a chest x-ray just to make sure that the port was still sound and positioned correctly. He also said that because of the numbness in my face and in my toes and hands that he was gonna cut back some on the Vinblastine because he thinks it might be causing the numbness and he said it wouldn't affect my treatment.
Before going to the x-ray department, we discussed doing some testing to see how my progress is (something I am very anxious to have done!!). He said that after two treatments more, that I would be half-way through and we would do some scans. He said he expects to see some really good progress and I just pray it is gone!! That would encourage me to keep going!!
I went and had the x-ray and came back to wait for results. Everything was fine so they sent me back to the now dreaded chemo room and I was even more sick to my stomach...I am getting sick to my stomach now just even typing this.
They started my pre drugs and it wasn't helping with the nausea. I just kinda laid back and tried to relax. Once lunch came around. I tried to eat but it made it worse, I was about to throw up! The nurse came and talked with me and they went and got me some Ativan to help with my nerves and the nausea. This helped take the edge off but I still felt pretty sick.
I got home that night and was ok...still a little sick but hanging in. Over the next few days, I had so much nausea and food and smell aversion! Ya see, I am developing a real problem...I have read this is common in chemo patients. Anything related to chemo...the smells, the look, the foods I have eaten, the drinks I have consumed....the smell and taste of chemo...all of it makes me really sick to think about. For six days I was so sick to my stomach but hungry at the same time. I could not bear and still can't to think of salads...I could not stand to drink soda...Smells would make me so sick...I seemed to have hightened smell or something.
The nausea finally subsided and I felt some better and wanted to eat normally again. I just felt really worn down. Then I developed a really sore throat and tongue. They warned me this could happen but it hadn't so far. My tongue developed some thrush and I had blistery bumps on the roof of my mouth and in my throat. That lasted a few days...main thing is it hurt to swallow and eat.
I am trying really hard to deal with this anxiety and aversion I have for chemo but it is extremely hard! I start dreading it on the Sunday before. I can't even look at my chemo bag...I know it sounds stupid but the bag I take to chemo makes me remember chemo and then I start feeling sick. Yesterday I was looking at someone's blog and they had the ABVD images of the chemo drugs and I got so sick just looking at the bottles. When I go Wednesday for round five, I am going to talk to my doctor about this and see if there is anything that can be done to help. It is getting really bad!!
Well, that is all for now. I am sorry for the late update but with six days of bad nausea, it was hard to even discuss it.
I will try to do better this week!
My blood pressure was up a little...I think my nerves were getting the best of me. I started feeling so sick to my stomach. I went over the usual symptoms questions with the nurse and then waited on the doctor.
When my doc came in, he was concerned about the severe pain that I had in my shoulder from the last chemo and wanted to do a chest x-ray just to make sure that the port was still sound and positioned correctly. He also said that because of the numbness in my face and in my toes and hands that he was gonna cut back some on the Vinblastine because he thinks it might be causing the numbness and he said it wouldn't affect my treatment.
Before going to the x-ray department, we discussed doing some testing to see how my progress is (something I am very anxious to have done!!). He said that after two treatments more, that I would be half-way through and we would do some scans. He said he expects to see some really good progress and I just pray it is gone!! That would encourage me to keep going!!
I went and had the x-ray and came back to wait for results. Everything was fine so they sent me back to the now dreaded chemo room and I was even more sick to my stomach...I am getting sick to my stomach now just even typing this.
They started my pre drugs and it wasn't helping with the nausea. I just kinda laid back and tried to relax. Once lunch came around. I tried to eat but it made it worse, I was about to throw up! The nurse came and talked with me and they went and got me some Ativan to help with my nerves and the nausea. This helped take the edge off but I still felt pretty sick.
I got home that night and was ok...still a little sick but hanging in. Over the next few days, I had so much nausea and food and smell aversion! Ya see, I am developing a real problem...I have read this is common in chemo patients. Anything related to chemo...the smells, the look, the foods I have eaten, the drinks I have consumed....the smell and taste of chemo...all of it makes me really sick to think about. For six days I was so sick to my stomach but hungry at the same time. I could not bear and still can't to think of salads...I could not stand to drink soda...Smells would make me so sick...I seemed to have hightened smell or something.
The nausea finally subsided and I felt some better and wanted to eat normally again. I just felt really worn down. Then I developed a really sore throat and tongue. They warned me this could happen but it hadn't so far. My tongue developed some thrush and I had blistery bumps on the roof of my mouth and in my throat. That lasted a few days...main thing is it hurt to swallow and eat.
I am trying really hard to deal with this anxiety and aversion I have for chemo but it is extremely hard! I start dreading it on the Sunday before. I can't even look at my chemo bag...I know it sounds stupid but the bag I take to chemo makes me remember chemo and then I start feeling sick. Yesterday I was looking at someone's blog and they had the ABVD images of the chemo drugs and I got so sick just looking at the bottles. When I go Wednesday for round five, I am going to talk to my doctor about this and see if there is anything that can be done to help. It is getting really bad!!
Well, that is all for now. I am sorry for the late update but with six days of bad nausea, it was hard to even discuss it.
I will try to do better this week!
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