4th Chemo Treatment

I woke up that morning feeling kinda sick to my stomach...totally dreading chemo! We stopped for a quick breakfast and went to the cancer center. They got me back fairly quickly for my blood work but then I had to wait on a room to be ready.

My blood pressure was up a little...I think my nerves were getting the best of me. I started feeling so sick to my stomach. I went over the usual symptoms questions with the nurse and then waited on the doctor.

When my doc came in, he was concerned about the severe pain that I had in my shoulder from the last chemo and wanted to do a chest x-ray just to make sure that the port was still sound and positioned correctly. He also said that because of the numbness in my face and in my toes and hands that he was gonna cut back some on the Vinblastine because he thinks it might be causing the numbness and he said it wouldn't affect my treatment.

Before going to the x-ray department, we discussed doing some testing to see how my progress is (something I am very anxious to have done!!). He said that after two treatments more, that I would be half-way through and we would do some scans. He said he expects to see some really good progress and I just pray it is gone!! That would encourage me to keep going!!

I went and had the x-ray and came back to wait for results. Everything was fine so they sent me back to the now dreaded chemo room and I was even more sick to my stomach...I am getting sick to my stomach now just even typing this.

They started my pre drugs and it wasn't helping with the nausea. I just kinda laid back and tried to relax. Once lunch came around. I tried to eat but it made it worse, I was about to throw up! The nurse came and talked with me and they went and got me some Ativan to help with my nerves and the nausea. This helped take the edge off but I still felt pretty sick.

I got home that night and was ok...still a little sick but hanging in. Over the next few days, I had so much nausea and food and smell aversion! Ya see, I am developing a real problem...I have read this is common in chemo patients. Anything related to chemo...the smells, the look, the foods I have eaten, the drinks I have consumed....the smell and taste of chemo...all of it makes me really sick to think about. For six days I was so sick to my stomach but hungry at the same time. I could not bear and still can't to think of salads...I could not stand to drink soda...Smells would make me so sick...I seemed to have hightened smell or something.

The nausea finally subsided and I felt some better and wanted to eat normally again. I just felt really worn down. Then I developed a really sore throat and tongue. They warned me this could happen but it hadn't so far. My tongue developed some thrush and I had blistery bumps on the roof of my mouth and in my throat. That lasted a few days...main thing is it hurt to swallow and eat.

I am trying really hard to deal with this anxiety and aversion I have for chemo but it is extremely hard! I start dreading it on the Sunday before. I can't even look at my chemo bag...I know it sounds stupid but the bag I take to chemo makes me remember chemo and then I start feeling sick. Yesterday I was looking at someone's blog and they had the ABVD images of the chemo drugs and I got so sick just looking at the bottles. When I go Wednesday for round five, I am going to talk to my doctor about this and see if there is anything that can be done to help. It is getting really bad!!

Well, that is all for now. I am sorry for the late update but with six days of bad nausea, it was hard to even discuss it.

I will try to do better this week!