4th Chemo Treatment

I woke up that morning feeling kinda sick to my stomach...totally dreading chemo! We stopped for a quick breakfast and went to the cancer center. They got me back fairly quickly for my blood work but then I had to wait on a room to be ready.

My blood pressure was up a little...I think my nerves were getting the best of me. I started feeling so sick to my stomach. I went over the usual symptoms questions with the nurse and then waited on the doctor.

When my doc came in, he was concerned about the severe pain that I had in my shoulder from the last chemo and wanted to do a chest x-ray just to make sure that the port was still sound and positioned correctly. He also said that because of the numbness in my face and in my toes and hands that he was gonna cut back some on the Vinblastine because he thinks it might be causing the numbness and he said it wouldn't affect my treatment.

Before going to the x-ray department, we discussed doing some testing to see how my progress is (something I am very anxious to have done!!). He said that after two treatments more, that I would be half-way through and we would do some scans. He said he expects to see some really good progress and I just pray it is gone!! That would encourage me to keep going!!

I went and had the x-ray and came back to wait for results. Everything was fine so they sent me back to the now dreaded chemo room and I was even more sick to my stomach...I am getting sick to my stomach now just even typing this.

They started my pre drugs and it wasn't helping with the nausea. I just kinda laid back and tried to relax. Once lunch came around. I tried to eat but it made it worse, I was about to throw up! The nurse came and talked with me and they went and got me some Ativan to help with my nerves and the nausea. This helped take the edge off but I still felt pretty sick.

I got home that night and was ok...still a little sick but hanging in. Over the next few days, I had so much nausea and food and smell aversion! Ya see, I am developing a real problem...I have read this is common in chemo patients. Anything related to chemo...the smells, the look, the foods I have eaten, the drinks I have consumed....the smell and taste of chemo...all of it makes me really sick to think about. For six days I was so sick to my stomach but hungry at the same time. I could not bear and still can't to think of salads...I could not stand to drink soda...Smells would make me so sick...I seemed to have hightened smell or something.

The nausea finally subsided and I felt some better and wanted to eat normally again. I just felt really worn down. Then I developed a really sore throat and tongue. They warned me this could happen but it hadn't so far. My tongue developed some thrush and I had blistery bumps on the roof of my mouth and in my throat. That lasted a few days...main thing is it hurt to swallow and eat.

I am trying really hard to deal with this anxiety and aversion I have for chemo but it is extremely hard! I start dreading it on the Sunday before. I can't even look at my chemo bag...I know it sounds stupid but the bag I take to chemo makes me remember chemo and then I start feeling sick. Yesterday I was looking at someone's blog and they had the ABVD images of the chemo drugs and I got so sick just looking at the bottles. When I go Wednesday for round five, I am going to talk to my doctor about this and see if there is anything that can be done to help. It is getting really bad!!

Well, that is all for now. I am sorry for the late update but with six days of bad nausea, it was hard to even discuss it.

I will try to do better this week!

Third Chemo Treatment

I had my third installment of chemo on Wednesday. We went in a little early as usual to try to get in earlier. They first drew my blood and then I waited on the doctor to come in. When he came in, we discussed the issue with my face going numb for so long after the last chemo. He said that he had never had anyone to get that but that chemo could do all kinds of weird things to the body. He said I would hate for you to stop chemo when this is so curable and I made it clear that there was no way I would stop it even over that, even if I had to suffer it daily! That would just been plain stupid in my opinion!

He said that my blood levels were holding pretty strong so far and that we could continue on with treatment. So he sent me to the chemo room and for the first time since starting, it was almost empty so they let me choose which seat I wanted. I chose one on the end...and was glad that I did because it seemed more secluded and just better..I don't know.

Now right when I walked in, that smell was there...that foreboding, yucky, chemically smell that you just can't get out of your nose! I can't describe it and if you walked in there, having never had chemo...you might not even notice it...but that smell haunts me and I hate it!!

They first cleaned my port...this is the part that really gets the smell yuckiness going! The swab that they use smells so strong and nasty..not just like alcohol..something all together different. I can't stand it! And they swab and swab and swab you. Then she sprayed me with the numbing spray which did not help a bit because when she clicked the needle in my port, it really hurt for some reason. Then they try to pull blood out of it and mine came right out so that was good.

Then they start the predrugs-the steriod and nausea meds. And they give me two Tylenol. I really don't notice much when these are going in except just a warmness. This time though, I started feeling really light headed and dizzy. My vision was a little blurry and I just felt terrible for a bit. The nurse thinks it was the Zofran because once it ran through, I started feeling better.

This chemo session seemed to go pretty fast and for the most part it was uneventful. This nurse moved things along a lot faster. I ended up leaving sooner than I normally do and was so happy that there was no numbness in my face!

I got home and didn't feel too bad...just tired out as usual. Well, about 8:30 that night, the numbess started in my face again. I never got as bad as the last time and it didn't last as long...it stopped some time during the night. Seems like this is a chemo side effect that is going to start happening each time..or maybe not, we will see.

The day after chemo, I started having bad pain in my port area and in that shoulder and arm. I had to go by the Cancer Center to sign some papers and had them check it. The doctor sent me for a Doppler Ultrasound to be sure there were no clots forming and there weren't. He said for me to take Ibuprophen and rest it as much as possible to keep the swelling down. He thinks that maybe the chemo drugs caused me irritation and that next time I have chemo on May 12 that they will need to flush me even more than before.

Saturday was really bad for me...the Saturdays after chemo always are. I was so sick and weak and vomited most of the day. It finally got so bad that I just had to go back to bed for most of the day and sleep it off. That is the only thing I could do!

Today, my ears have been hurting really bad and my left shoulder still aches terribly! I don't know if I am getting ear infections or what is going on but if it continues, I guess I will be heading back to the center.

This has really been a tough round so far...I have heard it gets worse each time and so far that seems to be the case. At least now, I am in the single digits of treatment..NINE left and I can't wait till they are done!!!

More soon.....