The beginning of a Journey

A journey always begins with one step..mine wasn't quite a step but a leap! My world was completely normal until February 4th, 2010, when all at once my world took a dramatic change!


I had just taken a shower and found a large growth or knot in my left groin! It totally freaked me out! I told my husband and he felt it and we were both scared! It seemed to be about the size of 3 inches long. It was kind of bean shaped and firm! My first thought was, "Oh no! I have a tumor!!!" I was scared to death! It was snowing that night but I could not wait until morning to see what this thing was so we all piled into our van and headed off for the ER.

The ER doctor didn't do much of anything to be honest. I guess I had hoped that they would run some type of scan or test and be able to tell me exactly what this thing was and wasn't..that didn't happen. The doctor brought in a female nurse because of the area that this thing was in. He felt it and said that he thought it was a swollen lymph node. He asked me had I had any infections lately and I told him no, that I had been fine. He asked about female infections and again I told him no. He said that most of the time these things are caused by infection but sometimes need to be biopsied. Well that didn't help my already frazzled nerves at all!! The doctor put me on 1,000mg a day of antibiotics and said it should start to go down after about five days and that if it didn't, that I would need to see a surgeon.

So, the waiting game started! I waited the five days and nothing happened. I made an appointment to see the surgeon for February 10th. When I went to see the surgeon, he again felt it...said most of the time it can take ten days on antibiotics for the node to go down. He checked to see if it was a hernia but wasn't sure on it so he wanted to send me for a CT Scan to rule out hernia and make sure it was a node. That was scheduled for the following day. Once again, it was another waiting game...waiting on the results of the CT scan.

I went back to the surgeon on February 17th and he confirmed that the CT results proved it was a node and that there were at least four more in my abdomen so he wanted us to go into surgery and remove the node for biopsy since it was so large. That surgery was scheduled for the next day on Thursday, February 18th. Once I had the surgery, the surgeon let me know that it would be a week before we would have the Pathologist report...so once again, MORE WAITING!!

I went back to my surgeon on Friday, February 26th! I will never forget those words that he told me. He had asked me how I was doing and I had told him about the same and he said, "Well, it was Lymphoma. I am gonna send you to an Oncologist to see what options you have as far as treatment."
I don't think it really registered at that point! I was in shock and couldn't even remember what to ask him!! I didn't even ask him what kind of Lymphoma...just blindly nodded as he told me I had Cancer! I think when I walked out of that office, it struck me what he had actually told me and it slowly began to sink in.

My first Oncologist appointment was not until March 16th so once again there was going to be more waiting!! I could hardly stand this waiting any longer! It was wearing me down! I knew I had Cancer now! I wanted to know what kind and what we were gonna have to do to kill it!!

Before my first Oncologist appointment, I had a surgeon's appointment on March 12th. This time, I had enough sense to ask what kind of Cancer I had. It turns out it was Hodgkins Lymphoma. So, at least now it had a complete name and I knew more of what I was dealing with!

My Oncologist appointment date finally came and I was so relieved to finally be there!! The doctor was very kind as he spoke to me and told me that he thought I would need six months of chemo. He told me about the risks and also told me that he thought we had a good chance of a cure! He did say though, that chemo is never 100%! He wanted to check with the Radiation doctor to be sure he agreed that chemo would be the best option. He said that if he agreed, that we would get the surgery set up to place my chemo port and do some testing and hopefully by the following week, we would start chemo! Finally, something was happening but still some more waiting to go!

That Thursday, two days later, the Oncologist nurse called me and let me know that they had decided to continue on with the chemo plan and putting the port in. The problem was, my surgeon was out of town until April 2nd and she wanted to know if I wanted to wait on him to return or did I want them to get someone else. Well, I am sure by now you can imagine what I chose! I asked them to get someone asap to put this thing in!!!

I got a call that next day that they had scheduled for my surgeon's partner to put the port in and that it would be scheduled for the following Wednesday on March 24th. (This would have been my Mom's birthday) I was also scheduled for that Monday, March 22 to have a Pulmonary Function test and Echocardiogram because the chemo can damage both the heart and lungs, they wanted to be sure both were healthy. They also scheduled me for that following Tuesday March 23rd to have a CT scan of my upper body.

Monday came and I went in for my Pulmonary function test and Echo. Both went pretty quickly and were easy enough. That same day I went in for my preop for the Chemo Port placement. They made it seem like not a big deal at all...quick and not much pain! We will talk more on that next as it deserves it's on post!

That next day, I went in for my CT scan and it was over really quick! I was glad for that as the first one I had involved Barium and made me really sick! This one was much easier!! Then it was more waiting to hear back on when this all would start. I was honestly so ready to start chemo and get it going so I could kick this thing and get on with my life!! It just seemed like it was never gonna happen!! I went home that day, ready for my surgery the next day.....